A little over year ago, everything that I had ever written on this page – or a page that existed at this web address – was deleted. Days and weeks and years of writing completely disappeared. I was absolutely devastated. Thoughts that I had been overwhelmed with and overflowed out of my heart and mind were in every post. They were thoughts that came out of hard and suffering and lessons learned. They were thoughts that filled my mind in the shower and in the car and throughout the days. At the time, I was working on my craft of writing and was writing as diligently as I knew how. The Lord was speaking things to me and working on my heart, and I was sharing it all. I was not only sharing those thoughts, I was also seeking feedback and attempting to be a better writer. It was a very rich season of my life that holds so much depth. For all of those words to disappear felt like I had been robbed of all that they Lord said and did in that season. While that is not at all true, my heart grieved to reread the words that He had planted in me. Yet, the Lord has reminded me time and time again that He is the same always, and for whatever reason, all of those words are supposed to be gone – at least from the pages of this site. I don’t fully know the reasoning, but I do know that it was very sad. I also know that since I wrote those words, much in my life and in the world has changed. I also know that whatever was true and right within those writings is still written on my heart and on the heart of those that read the words.
Back in November a friend had a vision for me while praying for me at a women’s retreat. She knew nothing of my lost work, and to my knowledge she has never read anything I’ve ever written. However, as she was praying, she saw me sitting at a desk writing and she said, “I feel like the Lord is saying to pick your pen back up and start writing again.” I have very little direction outside of the fact that I do know that I am supposed to be writing. The Lord has continued to give me some wisdom and direction to what may glorify Him the most. What I do know is that I have been given the opportunity in the last several years to either choose to live like eternity is real or to choose to live like this world and this life is it. I can say that without a doubt in my heart and soul, the Kingdom of God is at hand and eternity is real. I don’t know how to live like it’s not real, yet often I find myself forgetting that it is. This space is a place to share how I find myself living as a mom, a wife, a friend, a child life specialist in the reality of eternity. My prayer is that some of these words help you to see the Kingdom coming in your life.
